We're struggling to find a name for baby. Just now we're imaginatively referring to baby as 'Baby'. Obviously, it would be nice if we could call it 'Baby' forever, but I'd imagine there would come a point when 'Baby' would probably disown us, most likely when we were dropping it off at school, age 8, shouting "See you later, Baby" in front of the whole playground. So sadly "Baby" isn't an option, even though they got away with it in Dirty Dancing. I'm guessing living your life according to Dirty Dancing, while it would be fun, probably doesn't get you far in life.
Anyway, I digress, distracted by thoughts of Dirty Dancing. Babies names. Yes. We’re fine on girls name, actually. We came up with a girl’s name that fits perfectly (we hope), that's not "Baby" (you'll be pleased to hear) and that we unanimously agreed upon pretty early on. When it comes to boys names, however, it’s been a whole different ball-game.
We decided Baby will take Boyfriend's surname. I always thought Boyfriend had a fairly innocuous, perfectly respectable surname, like my own, until it came to naming baby. You see, Boyfriend’s surname is that of a central character in a JK Rowling book. Which probably sounds like a perfectly fine and normal surname to you. Which it is. Until you try and find a first name to go with it.
Because of that bitch, J.K. Rowling, we can’t name it Harry. We also can't name Baby anything that rhymes with Harry for that matter. So that removes Barry, Cary, Gary, and Larry from the name pool. Not that we would have necessarily gone for any of those names, but it still removes names from the ever decreasing pool of viable names.
Boyfriend also informed me that we can’t call baby Henry, because apparently it’s derived from Harry. Apparently everyone in Medieval England called Henry pronounced it Harry (I had to look this up, here, to believe this). And whilst we don't live in Medieval England, and not everyone is into their Medieval English history, Boyfriend is still very much against Henry, so that's out the window too.
We also can’t call Baby anything beginning with S, because then it’s going to be Spotter. Yes. Delightful. The same goes for any name beginning with T, because then it’ll be TeaPotter. Imagine the japes.
Another name we need to avoid is Jack, because then it becomes JackPot.
Going with family names is also a problem because all of the male names in our families commit one of these naming crimes. Which is not a valid reason to re-commit the same crime in my book!
And, further complicating matters, as we are both of that age where a lot of our friends have had children (mostly boys!), and all of my sisters and cousins have children (again, a lot of boys), we've found a lot of 'good' boys names have been taken. It's a bit of a faux-pas really, to give your child the same name as a close friend or relative's child, right?!
Can your see our problem?!
We also don't want a name that every third kid in their class/school has. At the same time we don't want anything too out there, that is going to make our child be a object of ridicule, so out goes any outlandish names. A few years ago we overheard a guy shouting "Merlin" in a railway station. Expecting to see a dog come bounding along, our mouths were agape when instead we saw an 8 year old boy running up behind his dad. We still laugh about it now, the cruel people that we are. Hence no crazy names.
Right now we're at the stage where we have two potential boys names we could use, out of all the boys names in the world that will fit, that hopefully won't be the cause of future bullying/sniggering from strangers (if you're reading this Merlin, then we're really sorry). There's one name I kind of like, and one Boyfriend kind of likes, but we're not completely sold on each other's suggestions, and can't agree on one or the other. I'm also still of the mind that out there is the perfect name that we've missed, and is out there somewhere just waiting to be found. Cue a constant trawl of baby name websites in search of the elusive name, followed by the same old sigh and a feeling of wanting to bash my head off of the keyboard when that name can't be found. Every evening.
With all this in mind, would it be so wrong to name baby "Baby" if it's a boy?!
xx